


To the Love of My Life

by orphan_account



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alzheimer's Disease, Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2015-04-27
Packaged: 2018-03-26 00:13:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3830068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony shows Steve a letter Peggy wrote to Angie after having been diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To the Love of My Life

**Author's Note:**

> This ended up being my most popular Tumblr post, so I thought I'd add it here.
> 
> Several people have called me Satan over this.

Steve was sitting next to Peggy’s bed, watching her sleep. She’d faded off earlier in his visit and he couldn’t quite bring himself to go, yet. He kept looking over at the photographs by her bed, including one with her clutching a cute, young woman in a waitress’s uniform. Both women were laughing in the picture, and Steve noticed that their hands were linked in a friendly manner.

“My dad took that photo.”

Steve spun around to see Tony Stark in the doorway, arms crossed and staring nostalgically at Peggy. “She kept asking me if I remembered taking it,” Tony went on. “She thought I was him.”

“You know Peggy?”

“She’s my godmother.”

Tony had never once mentioned the fact he knew Peggy Carter, but when he thought about it, Steve wasn’t that surprised. “So you’re here to visit her?” Steve asked. “I can leave, if you’d like.”

“No, I’m here to talk to you,” Tony said bluntly.

“Me?” Steve questioned, unsure about the logic of the statement. “How did you know I was here?”

“The last time I was here, one of the nurses mentioned you came by a lot,” Tony said with a shrug. “I asked them to call me the next time you were visiting.” He reached into his jacket’s pocket and pulled out a yellowed envelope, clearly written some time ago. The front of it read  _To the love of my life_  in Peggy’s handwriting. “I want you to read this.”

Hesitantly, Steve reached out and took the letter from Tony’s hands. The look on Tony’s face made him not want to read it — it was cold, almost resentful, and Steve wondered why his friend was angry with him over visiting an old woman in a nursing home.

He expected the first line to be addressed to him, however arrogant that may be, and was surprised to read a woman’s name.

 

_To my darling Angie,_

_There are so many things I want to say to you, but I’m afraid I won’t have the opportunity to tell you them in person. You no longer visit this wreck of an old woman, and for that I can hardly blame you. I cannot imagine how difficult it was to watch me succumb to this disease._

_The nurses have told me that you no longer wish to visit, even when I’m lucid. Good. It breaks my heart to know I will never see your beautiful face again — and you are so undeniably beautiful, my darling, even now — but I do not want you to see me like this. Not anymore. I have hurt you far too often without realizing it and could not live with myself if I were to do so once again._

_But for a brief moment, I have been given my old self back and I need to use this time to tell you how much I love you. I can remember everything Angie, even if only for now._

_I remember falling in love with you far too quickly and being frightened to death that you didn’t feel the same way. Or worse yet, that you might get hurt because of my affections. I remember the first time we danced together, the first ‘I love you’, and the first kiss. I remember the first time I saw you undressed and the first time we made love._

_Do you remember the time you were late to our date, drenched from having tripped in a puddle? You cried for ten minutes and I spent the whole time trying to tell you how gorgeous I thought you were, even when you had mud smeared on your cheek._

_I remember raising two beautiful children with you. They grew up with all of your dramatic flare and endless optimism. The best parts of them come from you, Angie. And I remember you squeezing my hand too tightly as we waited outside Evelyn’s hospital room while she gave birth to our first grandchild, and how happy you looked when you held the little tyke in your arms for the first time._

_And as much as I wish I didn’t, I remember waking up one morning and seeing bruises on your arms. Bruises I gave you during one of my damned fits. And I remember how you couldn’t look me in the eye, and how the tears that wouldn’t stop falling._

_Sixty years with you, my love. Sixty years worth of memories and now all of them are fading away. If I had any way to stop this, I would. Oh, Angie, I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry._

_I’ve started crying and I don’t know if you’ll be able to read this though the smudges, but I don’t think my heart could take writing this again. I’ll need to ask Tony to give this to you when he has the chance. Please, darling, don’t be angry with him when he hands the letter to you. Be angry with me. I am the one hurting you, however unintentional._

_I need you to know that you have given me the best years of my life. I learned this morning that Massachusetts has legalized same-sex marriage and I wish with my whole heart that I could take you there and give you a proper wedding. I need you to know how much I love you. Do not blame yourself for anything, my love. There is no one else I would have rather shared my life with, and I am so sorry it must end this way._

_With all of my heart,_

_English_

 

“Who…” Steve trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

“The woman Peggy loved,” Tony explained. There was a deep sorrow etched into his face. “When Peggy gave me that letter, it was 2007. It had been years since she had such a good day, but even then, she couldn’t remember everything.”

“What do you mean?”

“Angie died in 2001,” Tony muttered sadly. “She had been dead for six years when Peggy wrote that letter. I didn’t have the heart to tell her or throw it away, though, so I’ve kept it all these years.”

Steve stared down at Peggy’s handwriting, shaky in spots and tear splattered in others. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I hate the fact you’re here with Peggy,” Tony said, “and you deserve to know why. Aunt Angie was one of the greatest women I’ve ever met. She loved Peggy with her whole being, but every time you were brought up, I watched her heart break a little. Because she thought Peggy loved you more than she could ever love her. And then the Alzheimer’s got worse and Peggy couldn’t remember who Angie was anymore. But she remembered you. She always remembered you.”

“I didn’t—”

“It’s not your fault,” Tony agreed before Steve could finish. “But I need you to know who Angie was and what she meant. To me and Peggy.”

Steve nodded solemnly and handed the letter back. There were no words to express the feeling in his chest. “Can I go see where she’s buried? Angie?”

“Why?” Tony asked, and Steve flinched at the suspicion in his tone.

“I want to pay my respects,” he explained. “I want to thank her for giving Peggy such a happy life.”

Tony quietly stared at him for a while, and eventually nodded his head. “Yeah,” Tony muttered. “I’ve been meaning to visit myself. Let’s go.”

They quietly walked out of Peggy’s room, letting her sleep and dream about days long since past.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to spread the sadness, you can reblog this on Tumblr   
> ( http://rosebythesea.tumblr.com/post/117379274676/as-i-said-i-was-going-to-be-posting-angst-so . There's also a semi-companion piece there, too, if you want). There's a lot more fluff on my Tumblr account, too, so if you need something to console yourself with, you'll find it there.


End file.
